| If you're feeling a bit tired and jaded, why not have | | | | When he returned his own the office, an indignant |
| a smile with a few haulage work stories. | | | | manager demanded to know where he'd been as |
| Believe it or not - all of these are true! | | | | he'd had a complaint from "John" that he'd never |
| The grand tour | | | | turned up. You guessed it - after much confusion, |
| The poor shipping clerk sitting at his desk was | | | | shouting and mutual recriminations, it turned out that |
| desperately trying to explain to an irate client why | | | | he'd got the wrong 'John'. He had, in fact taken |
| their trailer load of critically important Italian imports | | | | someone out for lunch that actually worked for |
| was still sitting in Dover 3 days after arrival without a | | | | another company who'd by chance been in the |
| tractor unit to deliver it. The driver had in fact | | | | loading bay when he'd arrived! |
| vanished upon arrival in the UK and there were now | | | | Oddly, the guy hadn't objected to being plied with |
| serious concerns for his safety. | | | | free food and beer by a complete stranger. The |
| A few minutes later, the phone rang. It was the | | | | moral of this tale? Be careful with "Johns"! |
| Italian driver saying that he was in the Lake District | | | | The need to be flexible |
| and was enjoying a few days sightseeing before | | | | A driver was asked to collect an 11m long solid steel |
| going back to Dover to collect and deliver the trailer. | | | | tube weighing several tons. Arriving at the |
| Cue a sudden very rushed telephone course in basic | | | | warehouse, he was disturbed (to say the least) to |
| Anglo-Saxon! | | | | find that the tube was in fact closer to 14m long and |
| Forklift tricks | | | | far too long to transport legally with his vehicle. |
| A flatbed 12-metre containing one last pallet pulled | | | | Phoning back to his base, he left a message and |
| into the jammed warehouse for unloading. | | | | asked for instructions. |
| The inexperienced forklift driver was new to haulage | | | | The helpful text message that came back? "Can you |
| work and decided that to reduce manoeuvring, he'd | | | | bend it a bit?" |
| take the weight off the pallet and ask the driver to | | | | That's the trouble these days - people in haulage |
| pull forward. He called out to drive forward as he | | | | work just don't understand the importance of |
| lifted the pallet a couple of inches or so off the trailer | | | | flexibility! |
| - or rather he thought he'd lifted it... | | | | Getting an overview |
| The pallet had in fact jammed onto a stanchion and | | | | The manager of a large French-based haulage work |
| as the truck pulled forward, in spite of frantic | | | | firm decided to come over and familiarise himself with |
| unheard calls to the driver, it started to take the | | | | the UK operation. His secretary thoughtfully sent |
| forklift with it. Once the forklift reached about 45 | | | | through to the UK head office his requested itinerary, |
| degrees, its driver understandably decided to | | | | the final sentence of which read, "Please ensure he |
| 'abandon ship' and fortunately avoided injury as the | | | | gets taken to the local whorehouse". Stunned silence |
| forklift finally toppled and crashed to the ground. | | | | and confusion resulted. Always keen to be hospitable |
| Who said turning over a forklift was impossible? | | | | and comply, several people started speculating just |
| Thanks for the meal | | | | how he could be helped to find such an |
| A major client of a haulage work company asked | | | | establishment. It was only after some time and a |
| them, at very short notice, to send somebody to | | | | couple of exploratory phone calls,that someone came |
| supervise the loading of a trailer at their premises. As | | | | up with the bright insight "do you think they mean |
| usual, nobody was available so a trainee was sent | | | | warehouse?" |
| just to 'fly the flag'. He was told to keep an eye on | | | | One can't help feeling a little sorry the confusion was |
| the loading and also to take the client's shipping | | | | spotted in advance! |
| manager named John out for lunch. Upon arrival, he | | | | Like all jobs, haulage work can occasionally be a grind. |
| met someone in a suit by the trailer and said "hi you | | | | Yet it can also generate a few laughs and |
| must be John". Having shaken hands, he took John | | | | experiences along the way! |
| down to the local pub for a hearty lunch. | | | | |